i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
