Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
