So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
