Screwed.edu
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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