Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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