how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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