Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We left the knife in your bed.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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