So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
