you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
