david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
