I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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