I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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