she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
