im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
