Your face is a jimmy john
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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