the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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