If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
