the new term for farting is butt boxing.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
