Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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