I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
