I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
