sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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