yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
