I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
