i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
