did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
