It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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