ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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