i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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