So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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