Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
