dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
