I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
