Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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