Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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