i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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