I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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