I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
