He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
