I'm so fucking centered right now
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
