I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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