The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
