I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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