just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
