grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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