Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
