the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
