And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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