Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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