well I can't set my house on fire every night
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
