you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
