... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
